Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome

Why can't people just see/telepathically know that I'm in a foul mood and then avoid getting on my nerves?

For the past few days I have been extremely irritable.  Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, is getting on my nerves.  I feel like I am a ticking bomb ... just ready to go BANG.  I'm also incredibly tired - I'm not sleeping very well and I am really struggling to crawl out of bed in the morning.  I'm emotional and teary one moment and then raging the next.  I feel so lethargic that, if a £20.00 note floated in front of me, I'd ignore it.

I am imagining myself as the Hulk.......... you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.  I feel like a bear with a smacked arse.  I feel incredibly miserable and I feel bored.

This morning, I counted how many days I've been sober to see if I could cheer myself up a bit.  It's been 199 days and no, it hasn't cheered me up.

Inevitably, these feelings have made the wine witch crawl out from under the rock she was hiding under.

Last night was particularly bad.  I'd had an awful day at work - a combination of a grumpy boss (who was grumpier than me) and moaning clients.  Mr W had had a day off work and had done feck all at home and the girls were having a 'let's gang up on mother' night.  I felt so wound up that had I really, really wanted to pay a visit to the corner shop for a bottle of red.  I didn't of course.  I took myself off for a hot bubble bath and a good read of my current book of choice.

This feeling of 'fuck it' really surprised me.  After being sober for six months, I was not expecting the strength of the 'fuck it'.

I realise that these feelings are probably down to Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (Dr Google told me so).  That and a mixture of my hormones (I think I'm also a bit menopausal).  I know that I will only feel like this for a few days or so.  It will pass soon.

I also think that I really need to 'do' something more with myself in my spare time.  I've given up my cigarette and wine hobby but I haven't replaced them with anything.  It's true that, by giving up the booze, I have so much more time - but what is the point of that if all I am doing is sitting at home vegetating?  I do like to read and I've been doing much more of that now that I don't have to re-read the same sentence over and over again (or fall asleep), but I'm getting a bit fed-up with reading.

I'm also not exactly a 'sociable' person.  I lost that ability when I drank more and more at home.

I'm the only one who can help myself.  I've now gained so much weight from not smoking and drinking that I can't breath when I put on my socks!  So, I've been thinking about joining the gym at the local leisure centre.  Tonight, I think the family can fend for themselves for a change whilst I go and see about enrolling at the gym...