Almost four years ago I stopped drinking alcohol. After drinking a bottle of wine and (I think) a half bottle of neat vodka, I made a real fool of myself at home. I spoke for 20 minutes to my mother on Facetime, I fell against a wall - bashing my head, I soiled myself and my Husband and younger daughter had to change me and put me back to bed. I don’t remember any of it. I sometimes get little flashes of what may be a memory, but I’m not sure if they are real.
This was my real ‘rock bottom’ after several almost rock
bottoms. This was the point that I knew
if I didn’t quit the booze, my Husband and two children would leave me and I
would end up dead.
So, four years later despite the difficulties of the past
year, here I am: Sober, happy, healthy
The biggest bonus, for me, of being sober has to be the
freedom it gives you. The mental freedom
of not having to think about the next drink:
When can I drink? How much can I
drink? Where will the money come
from? Alcohol dependence/alcoholism ran
my entire life for so long. Giving it up
lifted a huge boulder from my shoulders so that I could breathe out a massive “Ahhhh!”.
I’ve lost a couple of friendships along the way. For my benefit, I can’t be around people who
drink to excess, but I have found new friendships.
I still have an issue with past feelings of guilt randomly,
but I use these ‘flashbacks’ as ‘play forwards’, to remind myself of how I was
and what I will become should I drink alcohol.
There will never be any moderation for me. I’m wise enough to know that I’d be incapable
To sum it up, the benefits of being sober are immeasurable. I wish I’d never have let myself get so bad. I wish I’d done it sooner.
And, you know, if I can stop drinking and stay sober then so can you