Two years on, my only regrets are the hell I put my husband and girls through, that I let myself get in to such a mess with booze and that I didn’t quit sooner.
What isn’t to love about being sober? My mind is free of every restraint alcohol holds over you. That’s not to say that I don’t think about drinking because, on occasion, I still do. It’s more of a romantic wistful longing - a bit silly really, there’s nothing romantic or wistful about my relationship with alcohol. When these thoughts do come to mind, I’ve trained myself to think of a time when alcohol did me no favours .... falling over in the garden, pissing myself, talking rubbish. The list to choose from is endless. I guess I play it forward.
I do still feel incredibly guilty about all those bad times and I should, but I am also beginning to realise that I can’t keep living in the past. I am learning to forgive myself.
Not drinking booze and coming to the conclusion that I never will is the best thing that I have ever done not just for my family, but for ME.
So, to anyone out there that is struggling with booze and might read this... do it, quit, give it a go. I guarantee it is worth it.