Sunday, 7 July 2019

Two years Alcohol Free

Two years ago I drank a bottle of red wine and, if that wasn’t enough, I also drank vodka .... neat.  I blacked out and made a complete arse of myself.  I still cant’t remember.... just little snippets that may or may not be a memory.  This wasn’t the first time I’d done something like this - but it was the last.  This was the beginning of my sober journey.

Two years on, my only regrets are the hell I put my husband and girls through, that I let myself get in to such a mess with booze and that I didn’t quit sooner.

What isn’t to love about being sober?  My mind is free of every restraint alcohol holds over you.  That’s not to say that I don’t think about drinking because, on occasion, I still do.  It’s more of a romantic wistful longing - a bit silly really, there’s nothing romantic or wistful about my relationship with alcohol.  When these thoughts do come to mind, I’ve trained myself to think of a time when alcohol did me no favours .... falling over in the garden, pissing myself, talking rubbish.  The list to choose from is endless.  I guess I play it forward.

I do still feel incredibly guilty about all those bad times and I should, but I am also beginning to realise that I can’t keep living in the past.  I am learning to forgive myself.

Not drinking booze and coming to the conclusion that I never will is the best thing that I have ever done not just for my family, but for ME.  

So, to anyone out there that is struggling with booze and might read this... do it, quit, give it a go.  I guarantee it is worth it.

XX 

4 comments:

  1. How I hold on to your words, "...do it, quit, give it a go. I guarantee it is worth it." I believe you. Congratulations on your two years!! I so happy for you. xo, ll

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  2. Woo Hoo! Big congratulations!
    xo
    Wendy

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