The art of saying "No, thank you"

My one year soberversary passed on 7 July 2018 without fanfare or without comment nor acknowledgment from Mr W or the girls.  Inside, I was cheering and congratulating myself but I appreciate that for my immediate family it's just another day in the office.  What is a massive milestone and achievement for me is nothing to them and that's just the way it is.  Still though, I knew the wine witch was lurking which surprised me a little - she's not been all that vocal recently (a quick flip of my middle finger and she usually goes).  She kept popping up every now and then throughout the day to tell me I didn't have a problem at all with alcohol - I've not touched booze for a whole year.  You're cured!  You can moderate!  Mmmmm - yeah right!

Anyway, back to the subject heading!

Mr W and I enjoyed our holiday abroad:  It was a fairly quiet resort with not a lot going on and our hotel was fabulous.  We went half board rather than all inclusive, so that we were not completely tied to the hotel.  

However, alcohol seemed to be featured a lot in this hotel.  No kidding, you could even have cava for breakfast!  

Firstly, when we arrived to check in we were offered a glass of Cava, but I declined politely, said it was a little early in the day for us and asked if they had water instead.  Mr W, actually seemed to take offence when he was offered and was (I thought) a little abrupt "No!  We don't drink!" is what he said.  We did get a strange look, but yes, they had water and we were subsequently given a glass.  There were also a number of 'themed nights' for the evening meal and when you walked into the restaurant/dining room you were offered a cocktail ..... sangria, marguarita, etc.  I felt a little 'displaced' on our first evening trip to the dining area when I was offered a drink.  I asked what it was and was informed it was Sangria, I asked if it contained alcohol (although why, I don't know - of course it did).  No, they didn't have a non alcoholic alternative and no, there was no water available.

Bearing in mind that I am the one that had a major problem with alcohol, I think I have learned the art of saying "No, thanks - not for me" (or similar) quite well.  I don't feel the need to explain myself to complete strangers and nor do I want to.  However, Mr W was a completelty different kettle of fish and I would have to try and speak first before he did.  When I was too slow, he'd exclaim "No! We don't drink" and worse (on one occasion):  "No!  We are sober".  

I feel awful, for saying this out loud, but it was plain embarrassing and awkward.  I did, nicely, try to explain that we don't have to give a reason for our refusal - we just have to say no thank you or not for me.... easy!  No-one cares if we don't want a drink of booze.

There was one evening that was extremely awkward because of Mr W and I really cringed.  We went to the Hotel's posh restaurant for a meal and we were brought a cocktail.  Mr W  looked very annoyed (are these waiters and waitresses meant to be physic?) but I managed to jump in first and ask if they contained alcohol.  Yes, they did so I asked if they had an alcohol free one - not a problem Madam.  The waitress who brought the replacements remarked that they were AF and asked if we were having a night off from alcohol.  Mr W remarked "No! We just don't drink anymore, we're not like some of these people that just go on holiday to drink you know! And, you can take these wine glasses and wine list away too".  I mean, WTF!!  Was there any need?  The waitress scuttled off.  I was seriously mortified and told him so.  I felt as though he was he was drawing attention to the fact that we are sober and I felt ashamed of this.  I know there is no reason why I should feel ashamed but Mr W could do with a lesson or three in diplomacy because he is seriously lacking in that department.

If I'm honest I am a little irritated that it is presumed that everyone drinks alcohol and there is a woeful lack of any alternative.  In another restaurant/pub, I asked for their mocktail list.  They didn't have one, I was told to choose one from the cocktail list and they would leave the alcohol out.

I did have a little snigger to myself at one point though:  I received an email from the Hotel mid stay asking how our stay was so far and if I had any comments/suggestions for them that might make ours and other guest's stays nicer.  I mentioned that it would be lovely if they could offer guests a non-alcoholic alternative on their themed nights in their restaurant.  The next day, I had a note pushed under our room door thanking me for my suggestion.  As a thank you, they were enclosing a voucher .... 10% off my next bottle of wine!  Really!