Sober Socialising

Firstly, I just want to write that, as of today (19 May 2018) I have been sober for 315 days!!!  In a few weeks, I will have been sober for a whole year.  I am immensely proud of myself.  The longest ever period of being sober previously was three weeks.

Last week I took a weeks holiday from work for a bit of R & R.  It's the first time that I would completely be 'on my own' for a significant length of time during the day.  Mr W was working pretty long shifts every day and the girls are both working.In my previous life, I would have obsessed about how much I could drink.  The week would have been completely wasted.  I would have, at the first opportunity, gone to the supermarket to buy my booze stash - two bottles of wine or one bottle of wine and a quarter or half bottle of vodka.  Either a bottle of wine or most of the vodka would have been drunk when I got home .... whilst 'doing some housework'.  I always rationalised with myself that I was on holiday .... so I could drink.  In reality I was slipping down that slippery slope to alcoholism.  I think I was more than halfway there.

I would then be so pissed that I would have to go to bed to sleep it off.  I would then 'wake' up - hungover, feeling like shit and, often, still drunk - rush around doing the housework I should have done earlier, etc, etc.  I'm sure many of you out there know the drill.

Anyway, this time, I admit that I did feel a little anxious:  Would I be bored and then be tempted?  I planned ahead.  I booked appointments to give myself some 'me' time - I had my hair done, my nails done and (for the first time ever) my eyebrows waxed and tinted (christ, that stung).  I made a note of all the things I wanted to achieve (mostly a good spring clean) and put little sticky notes everywhere with 'clean/tidy me' written on them.  When the task was done, the sticky note was put in a pile and the job was marked off the list.  There's a great sense of satisfaction in seeing everything on your list crossed off and a pile of sticky notes showing things that have been done.

The other thing that I did whilst on holiday was socialise sober four times!  I attended two bbq's (one a friends birthday and one a impromptu family one) and two organised meals at restaurants (one a work retirement party and the other a family birthday celebration).  I managed all of them pretty fine and enjoyed them all.  I also amused myself by seeing how sloppy and slurry people get when they are drunk.

I found the bbq's much easier to handle - you can wander around chatting to people with a plate of food in your hand rather than a glass of something.  It's an environment where you can help yourself to whatever.

The restaurant trips were slightly more difficult - particularly the work do:  You're stuck in one place - confined almost - and surrounded by people drinking wine, vodka and tonic and gin ....  Initially, I got the "Haw haw!  Still off the booze?" from my boss.  I did have a little snap at another work colleague:  The conversation had turned to flavoured gins and I was asked for my opinion and which ones had I tried.  I said I've never liked gin (I don't like the smell) and I don't drink alcohol anyway.  "Oh!  How boring!" she said "I think anyone who doesn't drink is boring."  I replied "Well, I think drunk people are sloppy - but each to their own!"  There was a deathly silence for a couple of seconds before I said that my sister liked flavoured gins and the Parma Violet was her current favourite.  I'm not particularly proud of being snappy.  I was being wound up and I bit.  However, I refuse being called boring because I don't drink alcohol.

The family birthday celebration was much easier and, after the palaver over my mothers birthday, I played no part in organising this one (my step-fathers).  Mr W was sat next to me and he doesn't drink now either.  My girls were opposite and did have a cocktail each.  My sister was sat next to me and after four gins asked me about three times why I was drinking coke instead of wine.  Eventually, I was a little short with her and said "Because, I don't want to bloody drink wine!".  "Ooh!  Alright!"  she replied.  What I took away from that conversation is that pink gin and lemonade breath stinks!

At the end of the night, it was much easier to add up our proportion of the bill.  Unsurprisingly, it was my sister who tried to dodge paying her share.  But, I was sober so kept out of that little squabble.

So, my lesson to myself last week is that I don't have to have no social life because I'm sober.  I can do it.  It isn't too difficult for me, it isn't a trigger.  Yes, I am finding that drunk people irritate the hell out of me... But I can handle it.  I can always leave early if I want, right?