It's a new day, it's a new life ......

This morning as I left the house (in a rush as usual) it was still pretty dark and it was 'sleeting', windy and cold.  My younger daughter who hadn't yet left the house for work shouted "Love you Mum!" at me and as I got into the car I was suddenly hit by the realisation that I feel truly 'alive'.  I appreciate everything that I have in my life all the more now that I am AF and have broken free of those chains that held me back.

A song that I love 'Feeling Good' (Sung originally by Nina Simone and then by Michael Buble and Muse) popped into my head - in particular the first two verses that I know off by heart:  

Birds flying high

You know how I feel

Sun in the sky

You know how I feel

Breeze driftin' on by

You know how I feel

It's a new dawn

It's a new day

It's a new life

For me

And I'm feeling good

Now that I am sober, these are some of the things in life that are much, much better:

• The relationship with my husband and children.  Even after all I have put them through, they still love me.  This in itself has made me love them even more.
• My memory.  I can remember conversations I've had the night before.  I can remember the arrangements I have made - no more blackouts for me.
• My health.  Although I've put on loads of weight (I'm not worrying about that at the minute), my general health is tons better.  No more pains in my liver and kidney area (or chest for that matter).  I look healthier.  My skin has a glow.  My hair is better.  I've not had a cold yet either - despite lots of other people around me having one (I usually catch everything going).  My anxiety has all but disappeared.
• My finances.  I'm not spending a fortune on booze (or cigarettes either).  I don't feel anxious anymore about how much money is in the bank.  
• I can stay awake longer than 9pm at night, which means I can enjoy a chill night watching a film .... All the way though!!! .... Without passing out pissed.  
• My physical relationship with my husband.  I hated not being able to remember if me and my husband had had sex the night before.  Towards the end of my drinking, we hardly ever had sex (that's all it became ...).  I may have well  have not been there.... I was probably as animated as a blow up doll!

And, I love this time of year!  The time of year when it is changing from Autumn into Winter.  Frosty mornings, a nip in the air.  In the past, I've been too preoccupied to really take note of the weather.  

It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life .... And I'm feeling good!