It's way past time that I was brutally honest with myself. I hate the word 'alcoholic' - when I see or hear that word, my mind summons up that bloke that I see standing outside the corner shop with his bottle of cheap cider slurring and staggering about. But, I know I'm no different to him. I'm exactly the same - I just do it in the comfort of my own home.
I'm trying to think of the 'Pros' of drinking alcohol and, to be honest, I'm finding it hard. What does it do to me? Well, it relaxes me. Actually, it doesn't - that's the wine witch talking. What it does is make me tired and off I go to bed.
The 'Cons'? I can think of loads of them. I'm busy compiling a mental list of those and I'll write them down here soon so that, when the wine witch is jumping up and down behind me, I can re-read my list.
I've known for a long time that my drinking is out of control and, for the past year or so, I've been reading lots of sober blogs. Mummy was a secret drinker, Wine Bitch and One Crafty Mother have been particularly helpful.
I've decided to quit drinking alcohol (and the cigarettes - although I think that will be a breeze compared to the alcohol). My aim here is to write about the awful side of my drinking to remind myself why I have such self-loathing and why I disgust myself every day.
Welcome aboard! I've going to read more of your journey, it sounds like mine, except you are a head of the game, as you are younger than myself by a decade! Smart you!
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